"Ask enough people and you’ll end up hearing every possible variation of advice there could be."
I read a version of this quote during a time when I was struggling, while trying to build my business. Questions around ‘what next’ came up so frequently that I felt I was constantly in a state of decision fatigue. Every single day felt like going to a fight. In retrospect, I realise most the decisions to be made were insignificant, but that’s a learning for later.
In order to get better at making decisions, I turned my attention to reading books. I was trying to figure out how other people were doing this. Having read a bunch, I realised that stories, in retrospect, are always more glorified. They don’t do justice to the emotional turmoil and difficulties you go through while building a business. And most of them fail to acknowledge the real problems like cash flow. While there were certain things I could relate to, none of them felt like they understood what I was going through in its entirety.
I ended up buying a bunch of books in the hope of finding something or someone that really understood. Some of us look towards other people. People who we deem more successful, or people who we think have it ‘figured out’. Could be our friends or elder relatives. Be it people, books or some version of content we consume, looking outwards for answers is common.
Trying to look outwards for answers to your problems is not usually helpful in the long run. There is so much context to your specific situation that others usually will not ‘get it’. And if you go around asking enough number of people, you would eventually end up hearing every possible solution as the right one. Only adding to your confusion. For me, this is when I realised that I’m missing something. The real way to look for solutions and comfort during trying times is to look inwards. And if you extend this practice, you learn more deeply about yourself.
I’ve come to the realisation that we ourselves possess life-transcending wisdom. A never ending library of knowledge that has everything you need to know about yourself, and then some more. We are able to access this library while we’re asleep. ‘Go to bed with the most pressing questions, and you’ll wake up with answers’. Variations of this quote are everywhere. Some of the most world changing discoveries have happened with the help of naps. I’ve heard really successful people attribute their ways to ‘really thinking hard about a problem and then sleeping over it’.
But this library of infinite wisdom seems to be locked when we are awake. Like an anxiety ridden kid locked out of their place, we run around seeking help and advice from others. The constant barrage of noise and distractions of this world don’t help either. Add to that, our fears and struggles, our feelings of inadequacy and that of being an imposter.
The world is designed to keep us distracted all of our waking time. The more distracted we are, the further away we are from our own true selves. We tend to favour moments of transient pleasure in place of real, substantial happiness and peace.
Learning about ourselves is like finding a key to the library of infinite wisdom. What brings us real joy, what really triggers our curiosity, who we are and who are not. The ability to distinct real joy from a moment of escape. The more we spend time with ourselves, quiet and away from the distractions of this world, the more we learn about ourselves. The more we learn about ourselves, the more authentically are we able to move in this world. The less dependent we are on others to tell us what we should do. The familiar peace of ‘being at home’, becomes more ever present.
The more we look inwards, the less daunting the world seems. Next time you’re struggling with a conundrum, take a deep breath, smile to yourself, shut out the outside world and just sit with yourself. Let your mind work through it. Resist the urge to reach for your phone. And eventually, the truth will emerge for you. You already know what is best for you. Just look inwards.
Thanks to Akanksha Mohla for reviewing this article.
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