What am I meant to do in life? It is the ultimate existential question well known for its anxiety inducing outcome.
Fables have led us to believe that we are all born with a specific purpose. But we’re not told what it is. We spend our lives wandering, stumbling around, trying to do our best. On certain quiet, starlight nights spent by ourselves, such existential questions seem starker. Our lives seem to be all over the place. And we wonder, 'am I really where I needed to be.'
Whatever purpose we’re born with, achieving that is supposedly the goal of our lives. While this somewhat makes sense, it also purports the idea that our purpose is singular. That there is this one elusive thing that you must do to fulfil your life's purpose.
If we choose to believe that there is only one true path, then our decisions will either guide us towards that path or away from it. Those that guide us towards can be considered ‘right’, and those away, inadvertently, ‘wrong’. This is the reason why certain decisions can bring a lot of fear. And sometimes, in retrospect, regret.
Instead of thinking about life as a quest towards your purpose, it makes sense to think of life as a quest towards your ideal self. And on this quest to your ideal self, there will be many detours, challenges and complicated situations thrown at you. These are designed such that you truly understand and ingrain what you are supposed to be.
So we change the question. From ‘What do I want to do’ to ‘Who do I need to become’.
And this question becomes more manageable. I've always imagined myself as a sportsperson. Playing sports all throughout school and college, I thought of myself as a fit, athletic person. But that was far from the reality. Early working years, I leaned heavily on alcohol & tobacco and social settings that normalised them. There was no outlet for any form of physical activity. In my head, I was a healthy person but reality was opposite. I was not on the path to becoming who I wanted to be.
Now my priorities are different. I want to focus more on health over excessive work hours. Prioritise relationships and people over chasing more money. Practice craft over short term business wins. Say no to opportunities that will not allow time, bandwidth or mental place to do those things.
We sometimes wake up contemplating the choices we made. Some choices fill us with regret. But we must believe that it was necessary to go through what we did for us to know better. It probably made us stronger, maybe the situation helped us see where we must improve. Or it helped us amass certain resources or character traits that make our onward journey easier. Reflecting with judgement can blind us to the real lessons.
Charting our course of life based on who we want to be is hard. Yet we must believe that we are exactly where we needed to be. An airplane is off course over 90% of its journey. The pilots continuously course correct, making sure it lands exactly where it’s supposed to. Going off course is but a part of life. It is what make the journey interesting. Believe that your internal pilot will course correct. And you will also end up being exactly who you are supposed to be.
Thanks to Akanksha Mohla for reviewing this article.
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